August 17, 2008

Still on my brain...

July 3, 2008

(From my phone, yeah, that’s right. My new thing is typing “memos” into my Palm when the moment strikes me. Even lying on the beach while on vacation with the girls I type in my phone about him.)

I’m trying to get back in. It’s something I haven’t desired making an effort to do in some time. But I’m trying to nestle in and get back to what it is I thought I didn’t want. I think it might actually be working. Funny how trying for something, even just a little, can provide results. Putting myself out there a bit, setting the pride aside, can actually give me something I want. Crazy, I’ve never really tried for something like this before. I wonder what it is about him that is causing me to step out of character.

All the time I feel like I just want to pick up the phone and tell him how I feel. Then when I think of doing it, how I feel eludes me. How do I feel about him? What do I want with him? Most importantly, why him?

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