Really? Wait, really??

Last night, well to be accurate, early this morning my cell phone starts ringing. Really? I was in the middle of a dream. It's a Thursday night. I look at my clock then my phone. 2:11am. Who is it? The fireman. Really?? I am immediately angry. You are calling me at 2 in the morning when you know full well that I work in the morning? Really??

Begin tangent: I failed to note that on Saturday 3/14 I ran into the fireman downtown at a bar while partaking in some St. Paddy festivity celebrating. This was the first time I'd seen him since my last courtesy phone call regarding the health of his grandmother, and my decision to leave well enough alone; that I'd done enough in the ending of all of this. (See 3/1 post). I saw him from afar and immediately attempted the duck and hide. I went off to the ladies room so of course as I'm leaving the restroom and heading back to my people who should I unavoidably pass? The fireman. To be blunt, he was a dick. Clearly his ego had experienced some major bruising because he tried to act like he was too good to say hello or chat. When people do that to me, I kill them with kindness. Those people want you to be a bitch to them so that they can go around and say you're a bitch while armed with validation. If you're nice it just makes them feel worse about the fact that a great person rejected them and they still can't have you. So that's just what I did. I made sure I said hello. He tried to act as if he didn't see me, then that he didn't have time to talk, and I'm pretty sure he even tried to be nasty but didn't have the balls to follow through. All of this not only made me feel better about not seeing him anymore, but cleared up any guilt I may have felt for ending it or the need to supply any additional closure to the situation. Done and done. Dickhead. I later heard he went home with a random girl and did the walk of shame back to his car without even saying goodbye to said girl. Oh the small benefits of him being friends with my friends' boyfriend. End tangent.

So needless to say, I was irritated that he called me at such an inconsiderate hour and then proceeded to leave me a lengthy voicemail so that I was awoken minutes later by the message alert. But back to sleep I went.

This morning after I got out of the shower I listened to the message. Basically, he was demanding an explanation (yes, he actually said he wanted an explanation) for the fact that although I told him I did not want to see him anymore because something was missing between us, he heard that I had said that I didn't think he tried hard enough. Wait, really?!? So let me get this straight...it has been weeks since you acted like a dick when I saw you in public and even weeks before that when I actually ended it with you, but you're still going to proceed to call me at 2am demanding explanations as to why it ended? You heard this little fact? You're almost 30 years old. I learned to stop paying attention to he-said, she-said in middle school. OMFG.

He went on to say how he would've treated me "like a woman" (as opposed to?) and he cares about me and really wanted to be with me, but wants an explanation as to why I said this. Oh, and he hopes I'm doing well.

He followed up this retarded voicemail with a text this morning that read:

Douchebag: I'm sorry about the late call last night. I have no excuse for that.

Oh yes you do, you're a dick.

Note to self: Never again date a guy who is friends with a friend's boyfriend. This only ends with gossip and someone trying to make you out to be the bad guy. Clearly, someone wants me to be the bad guy in this situation when it is obvious that he simply failed. Deal with it. Move on. I owe you nothing.

It's official, the aftermath of this "thing" has lasted longer than the actual dating did.

And now that I have successfully vented, I'm moving on to enjoy this lovely Friday.

Relapse

So it seems I need to be a little more clear with myself. Okay, more like harsh.

Dating hiatus does not in any way mean that you should continue to have sex with a guy who has clearly shown he is lazy and has no interest in putting the effort into you that you so deserve.

I relapsed Sunday night and slept with Jimmy. It will be the final time. I'm sure of it because of how I felt afterward. Awful. Definite post depression sunk in immediately. I was so angry with myself. So much so, that I had to leave shortly after the act. I did a fabulous job of ignoring him all weekend which of course made him come on stronger. He's so predictable. Then I ended all of that hard work with giving up in the most extreme way. No more.

I actually left and called The Ex. I needed to talk to someone. At 1am he listened to me babble about what I did, what's wrong with me, why, why, why?? I was a wreck. He just listened and told me to just stop. I'm too good for it, and I know it. He said I am too hard on myself. Sometimes I am so incredibly thankful for him. I think he has grown to be a real friend to me. In some ways.

The next day, I felt even more foolish but immediately began the process of blocking the previous nights' events out of my mind completely. I am ending this nonsense. I know I've said this time and time again.

In other news, Ken has resurfaced and his new angle is that he'd like to be friends. I guess technically he never went away in order to resurface. I have heard from him at least once a week whether it's a text or a phone call. Regardless, this new proposal is coming from the same guy who hated the fact that I had so many guy friends, (I get along great with guys, it's just easy and I have fun with them. Period). He was always adamant about the fact that he did not have friends as girls. If he was hanging out with a girl it was because he was interested in her for other reasons. And last but not least, all my guy friends "just want to fuck" me. Ironic that he now would like to be my friend.

I of course mentioned his "theory." His response is that I could be his first friend as a girl. He just misses me and maybe it will be a disaster, but it could be a good thing too. He threw in how it has taken him a long time to get over me, that he wishes I hadn't closed up on him, i.e. all things that sound like he might not actually be over me. Hmm. Well, I am always up for remaining friends with people. I can do it. My experience is that guys usually can't. I'm skeptical because I think this may just be an angle. But, I rarely turn things down without giving it a shot, so I will. I am in full control of what does and does not happen. I'll keep ya posted on the progress of that one.