Hiatus:

Ended.

Almost 3 months ago to the day I instituted a dating hiatus. If I'm being totally honest, (which I always am here if no where else), I thought it would be harder to keep than it was. Regardless, dating hiatus is coming to a close. This occurs simultaneously with my attempt to come out of hibernation....hmm, may be interesting.

I'm in no way on the prowl. I'm simply open to dating whereas I was closed before. And, whelp, I actually have a drink date tomorrow night. Just drinks. Ease myself back into the pool. The eager dater has already asked for a dinner date for Friday night, but whoa, let's see how drinks go first, buddy. (I actually said that in a joking manner. Totally serious though). Luckily my friends birthday is today so I told him I wasn't sure if she'd want to do something over the weekend since her birthday is during the week. That will be my out if tomorrow's drinks are a bust.

I'll be sure to report here. Who knows, I may be the groundhog again. One date and I'm back in the hole! We'll see :)

Hibernating

I'm still in hibernation. I keep thinking the end is near, but then it f's around and snows on the night I made plans to go out. It's like Groundhog Day and I'm the groundhog. Just when I think I'm ready to come out of hiding, the temperature drops, a flake falls and I scurry back inside and throw on my slippers. Shew, that was a close one. One more weekend of movies and sweats.

I'd like to say I feel like a loser, but I'm incredibly content. In the back of my mind I worry. That nagging voice says, "How are you ever going to meet anyone if you don't get out there?" Then I remember that maybe I don't really want to meet someone? Who knows. There is certainly no shortage of guys texting me all weekend to see what I'm doing. Old guys. Guys I've test driven and left at the lot.

Anyway. It's frigid outside so I'm inside. I decorated me wee little tree last night and it looks adorably precious I must say. I've discovered a new addiction, tumblr.com. OMGSH, I'm hooked. I post an obnoxious amount of things. Sorry tumblr world for my spamming.

http://overflowing.tumblr.com

Brrrr

It's Saturday night and positively freezing outside. Good luck getting me outta my warm and cozy apartment. Just try to tear me away from ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas on my new 37" plasma TV (awesome birthday gift from a not-so-awesome person. The Ex. No longer speaking to him, not discussing now).

Okay, it's probably not that cold out for the end of November, but when that first cold weekend hits it takes a girl a bit to adjust. And by adjust, I mean some time curling up inside in her sweats watching corny movies with fluffy blankets. Oh, the holiday spirit.

I'm one of those people who starts listening to Christmas music at an ungodly annoying early date. I started last week. As soon as the weather changes to the coldness that smells of snow, the Christmas play list begins to experience heavy rotation on the iPod. In the car, in the house, at the gym. The holiday spirit surrounds me. Envelopes me. And I've even started my holiday shopping. Okay, I cheated. Thanks to Oprah, I got a free 20-page 8x11 custom photo book from Snapfish. Now let me add that I could've made my own book chock-full of summer fun photos of me and the girlies. But no, I made a family album for my Ma. My Mom who takes digital photos but never, and I mean never, orders them. The woman rarely uploads them to the web. This is a gift that is sure to jerk some tears. Ah.

So I spent today indoors hanging miscellaneous things around my apartment AND selling my old furniture! I've officially taken advantage of craigslist. I'm a fan. A nice fam came and picked up my old armoire today. Now just need to get my sofa and chair out the door to make room for my new living room furniture arriving Tuesday. Yup, this girl is moving up in the world. My little abode is really coming along. And good thing, because I'm going to need a warm oasis to keep me indoors while I attempt to save money to hopefully buy a house next year. Today I hung some shelves, a curtain rod, and my diploma. Finally. I only graduated from college 5 years ago and this is the first time that diploma has touched dry wall. It looks fab hanging by the little desk nook I created in my bedroom. I must say.

That's it. I'm officially old. And you know what? I'm liking it. Now please excuse me while I go make some vanilla chai tea.

Rainy Saturday

Today is one of those days when I feel the negative impacts of my dating hiatus. I'm alone and lonely. For me, there's a difference. I spend a lot of my time, I'd say the majority of my time (that I'm not at work), alone yet I do not feel lonely. Today, no such case. I'm lonely.

It's been raining all day. It's cloudy and cold. I want to curl up on the sofa with someone, order dinner and watch a movie. I want someone to want to be with me. To call me and say they want to see me, let's chill and relax. To spoon in bed with. To wake up on Sunday morning and cook breakfast with then get back into bed.

Lately I've had no desire to get all fancied up and go out. Shit, I've had no desire to go out period. So I chill. Alone. Normally I'm okay with that, but today and tonight, I'm lonely.

In other news, I spent a wee bit of time with Jimmy last night and this morning. It's not what you think and I don't think this event is linked to my feeling of loneliness though it very well may be. You be the judge. And judge you probably will. Rightfully so. The time was dog-centric. His dog. Allow me to disclose...

He called me yesterday morning to let me know that he was being evicted from his apartment unless he got rid of his dog by 5pm that day. He called me because at one point in time The Ex was willing to take him. The Ex still was. To make a long story short, I wound up meeting a woman that was keeping the dog for Jimmy last night while Jimmy coached a high school football game. I brought the dog, who I love to pieces, back to my place to keep and cuddle with for the night. Luckily, a coworker of mine who recently (sadly) put his 14-year-old dog down last week wanted to take the dog for him and his family. Fabulous set up for this dog who will bask in the attention he'll receive by being the families only dog.

So after Jimmy was finished with his game he came over to see the dog and hung out at my place for a bit. We didn't mess around. We talked. We laid on the sofa with the dog a bit. It's the oddest thing, but it's clear how content the dog is when Jimmy and I are together. When we hug, he's right in there with us. When we're sitting next to each other on the sofa, he's sure to have part of his furry body on me and the other part on Jimmy. I noticed this fact quite a while ago, but never said anything. Jimmy was actually the one to say it. Even the dog is smart enough to see what Jimmy doesn't.

I spent the night spooning with the great dane. Love him. This morning Jimmy and I drove to my coworker's place to drop off the dog. We hung out for a bit. I'm confident it's a good fit and couldn't be happier for all parties.

Though I found myself smiling while watching Jimmy interact with my coworker, a guy I've worked with for over 4 years who I love and respect like family. I wanted to lean on him or touch him while he talked with them. I wanted to be in a couple with him. I liked traveling with him. I liked being with him. I dreaded seeing our exit coming, knowing it meant our time together would be over and who knows when I'd see him again.

I think I'll always have a soft spot for him. I like him and I can't have him. I play it off while with him that I'm fine and moving on with my Ex. It's a lot less fabulous than I allow him to assume. At one point last night while we sat on opposite sides of the sofa with the dog between us he asked me if I'd missed him. I responded, "I missed Rocky." "Seriously," he said. "I missed you as much as you missed me," I said in a mocking tone. He looked down and said, "I think about you a lot." "Psh," is all I could muster. But that comment combined with that look shot right to my heart and pinched it. He jumped up and planted one little peck on my lips, then went back to his seat.

Selfish me

It's Friday, gloomy, and I couldn't be happier. What better way to start the first weekend of my dating hiatus then with a cloudy night that just begs me to get in my sweats, hop on the couch, and curl up with a blanket, my boys and a movie. Even if I had plans to go out a night like this would tempt me to cancel. I've got a fresh Netflix movie and two cuddly boys at home that are ready for a good night in. Smart People is what we'll be watching tonight. Yay!

Happy Friday to those that will be out and about, and to the recluses like myself, enjoy!

Dating hiatus

You heard it here first (as if you'd hear it anywhere else). I'm going on a bit of a dating hiatus, which basically means that I'm going to be spending a lot of time with myself. If I have mentally prepared myself for this it won't feel quite as pathetic while I'm spending the majority of my Friday and Saturday nights chilling in with the boys, reading, watching movies, organizing my closets and other various nooks and crannies of my apartment. This may sound like a death sentence to some but it is pure bliss for me. I could occupy myself with busy things around the apartment for quite a while and be perfectly satisfied. I'll be sure to make dinner/drink plans with the girls throughout as well. Armed with my library card, my Netflix subscription, and a treasure in my nightstand, I should be good (at least for a bit).

This hiatus does not mean that I will turn down a guy that I feel has potential. No, not at all. It just means that my mind and goals are elsewhere and dating is not my concern. I'm not looking.

One of the elsewhere goals is to end the cycle of mediocre men and seriously bid adue to the exes hanging around. Another goal is to save some serious money so I can start making some changes in my life: redecorate my apartment, one day get out of my one bedroom apartment, have a bit of nest egg.

I understand that this may lead to a completely boring blog, so because of that, I will leave you with an entertaining story that will surely have you rolling your eyes and possibly give you a bit of a chuckle.

First, let me say that I have stuck to my guns when it came to ending the cycle with Jimmy. (Backtrack: he wound up keeping the dog. Yes, after he refused to go to The Ex's with me that fateful morning, had me in tears thinking I'd have to go alone because I couldn't stand the thought of the dog in the pound, had me calling my girlfriend who offered to temporarily take him, drove all the way to her place with the dog, he called and had changed his mind...while he was at his second job...just 3 hours later. He wouldn' t be off work until 2am so I was to keep the dog until then. I couldn't leave him in my apartment so I had to cancel the plans I had to go out with friends. My Sunday before Labor Day was ruined).

I've talked to him twice since that day. Once to return the dog's food and bowls, and the other for him to bitch and complain because one of his friends saw me out at a boxing match with a table full of guys. Yes, I was there. Yes, I was the only girl. And yes, I had a fabulous time. Call me a tom girl but I love some serious full contact sports. Sexy.

So, he calls me last night after I haven't heard from him in 3 days (which was only for him to bitch about me being with guys), asking if he had left his diamond stud earrings at my place. I knew he hadn't. He then asked if I had any cheap earrings he could borrow. Ugh, of course he wanted something. I did. He asked if I could bring them up to him. Come get them yourself if you want them, I said! He begged I just bring them up, he had just gotten out of the shower. Me being the nice person I am, agreed.

I get to his apartment and he opens the door but is hiding his body behind it. Just his head is poking around. My first reaction is that he doesn't want to let me in and just wants me to hand him the earrings. I hesitate for a second before he tells me to come in. I see behind him that the place is completely dark except for a couple of candles lit. I walk past him. "What, are you getting romantic with yourself or something?" I say. Before turning around to see that he is completely naked. Yes, naked and coming at me. Dancing toward me really. OMG, seriously? Wow. I laugh at him. What else could I do? He went on to hug and kiss me and baby this, baby that talk to me, trying to get me to do this and that, and whelp, it just wasn't happening. He realized quickly that I wasn't that easy but didn't put on his clothes. Nope, he was clearly comfy naked. He danced around like a goof ball. It was really pretty comical!

But lets be serious, I've barely talked to you and you coax me to your place under false pretenses and expect me to give it up. Sorry bud, I'm not and never will be your booty call. I'm not that girl.

He realized it wasn't happening and went and got dressed. I played with the dog who I'm hopelessly in love with for a bit before leaving.

He later called me 3 times at 1:30am. I didn't answer.

Dating hiatus has officially begun.