April 9, 2009

Mom sitting

For the past 3 days I've been staying at my parent's place out in the middle of nowhere. I'm taking care of my Mom and the farm. The farm which consists of 5 horses (one of which is a baby), a miniature donkey, 2 dogs and a shit ton of geese and chickens. Yeah, I'm trudging it to the barn every morning at 8am and every evening rather then fighting traffic to and from my 9-5.

The reason? My Mom fell off one of those horses this past weekend and broke her shoulder. On Tuesday she had surgery to put a plate and some screws in there. That woman is scaring me these days. This is the 3rd time she's fallen in as many months and this is the first time she's been seriously hurt. She's a pistol that woman, 54 and running around like a 30-year-old, bless her heart. So I'm here on farm duty until the weekend when my Dad can take over. My boss at work is wonderful, not minding I take off for the week at the drop of the dime. I'm in my email, working from home as much as I can.

So I've been feeding the animals, feeding my parents, running on the trails, reading books and surfing the net. I brought my pooch with me, he loves it out here but boy am I missing my routine.

I didn't realize how much of my own world I'd created until I was taken out of it. My family is great, but I miss the life I've created for myself. I'm happy about this. Some people go "home" to their parent's and never want to leave. To me, home is MY home. My place. And I love that.

I love that, and with that love comes the want for a challenge. I'm ready to spread my wings even more and really vacate my comfort zone. This feeling has been bubbling for quite a while, and recently a solution has floated to the surface. I thought the answer was taking the step to buy a home because, well, that felt like the logical next step in my life. Then I realized it wasn't. A home would just keep me here. The challenge I really want and need is relocation.

I was born and raised in this same town. I didn't go away to college I stayed close to home. I've always stayed close. In my comfort zone. So all aspects came together. I hate the cold, I hibernated this winter. I want to move to the West Coast. San Diego specifically. I've been doing research on location and jobs. The more I learn the more I want it. I'm going to make it happen. It's the change I need. I can leave behind all this past that's been sticking with me and start new. There is no better time for me to do this. I have no obligations and nothing to hold me back. Nothing.

With that said I'm itching to get back to my life that is still here. I'm leaving the 'rent's place tomorrow and already have plans to meet some friends for a happy hour party downtown. So excited. My best guy friend is coming too, who...

Side note: did a little late-night confessing to me Saturday night when I went out with the boys. I often go out with the boys and when I do I AM one of the boys. Seriously. No holding back in front of this girl and damn it, I buy rounds too. We dance, we have fun. This time, me and 10 guys. Guys are so refreshing and easy. No drama, it is what it is. They just want to have a good time and that's just what goes down. Beer and shots. Dancing. Then pizza at the end of the night. Hella good time.

My best guy friend and I have been friends since middle school and we've been there through many boyfriends and girlfriends. He's The Ex's cousin for goodness sake. But we've remained great friends. We have a pact that if neither of us are married by 35, we'll marry each other. This has always been sort of a joke to me, but he confessed on Saturday night just how much it's not a joke to him. He basically wanted confirmation that should the time come, I would not say that I only thought of him as a friend and nothing else because he was counting on me. Pretty sure that was his way of discovering if right now, I only thought of him as a friend. Of course when he'd asked me I had just chased down my second shot of Grey Goose with my Miller Lite and pinkie shook that HELL NO, I would NEVER say that! Ah well. Ignoring that convo and moving right along. So far, so good. He has a girlfriend. He'll be fine. End Side note.

OH, and let me mention that Monday night as I'm packing up my car at 10pm to head to my parent's, who FLEW by? The freaking orange car! WTMF (what the mothafuck)?! The adult crush should have successfully moved this past Friday. NO reason to be cruising past my apartment at that hour. I was sort of saying goodbye to a male friend (nope, not getting into that now), so I'm sure he saw. I'm sure he did. What I'm not sure of, is WHY he was there. But what I do know, is that it BETTER not have been to check on me.

Okay, so I realize I've rambled in all directions. My apologies. Sometimes my brain just jumps from topic to topic and sometimes it feels good to roll with it. This is reality, and sometimes I just can't wrap my posts up and tie them with a bow. My bad.

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