Sick and tired

April 8, 2008

I wish I could write about what’s going on right now except I don’t even know. Something is seriously up with him and he doesn’t want to talk to me about it. I’m starting to think that he may be incapable of having the real relationship that he says he so desperately wants. Maybe my first suspicions were correct in that he wanted all of me so badly because I wouldn’t give it to him. He didn’t give up for the past two years because I kept him chasing me and now that I’ve stopped running he realizes he doesn’t really want me. Maybe he’s where I was and has no idea what he wants. Well, I can’t do this shit all over again. I’m sick of the guy how tries and tries to convince me to be with them, then to open up, then to love them, to trust them, and to move in with them while I am incredibly cautious and skeptical. Then, after much thought I give in only to regret it by having been correct all along. I’m sick and tired of men who don’t understand what they are doing or what they want. I cannot take it anymore.

Of course I, once again in my life, am going off on nothing but assumptions because he does not want to talk to me about what is going on with him. This is great. I can sit around and just wonder to myself. Fabulous. This being the same guy who just wanted to make me happy, who just wanted to show me how much he cared about me, and boasted about how well he would be treat me, absolutely fabulous.